Nate Logan

Bad Premise

The one with the possessed dentures. The one with the cult and its line of exercise bikes. The one with the disease transforming every voice into text-to-speech. The one with the malicious sidewalk. The one with the president who turns to portraiture in retirement. The one with the pocket theremin calling another world. The one with the mummy teaching intro classes at the state college. The one with the singing telegram that takes 86 minutes to read. The one with the Wallace Stevens mask. The one with the laugh track coming from outside the house.

Someone Says, “Who’s There?”

Like, I know that look.

This is all Canada’s fault.

Paint-by-numbers.

The psychiatrist is great as usual, hobbling around and orating.

If I had to carry a prop bat, I would suspend it from a fishing line upstairs.

While drinking a beer.

Maybe two.

Jessie found a body, which I should have expected, but it startled me anyway.

Fast-Forward Button Necessary

Exposition delivered by Americans.

Exposition delivered by Americans putting on accents.

If the dog / pet dies.

Some things that really don’t make sense.

For example: assisted living Dracula trying to get his daughter on the phone.

Nate Logan is the author of Wrong Horse (Moria Books, fall of 2023) and Inside the Golden Days of Missing You (Magic Helicopter Press, 2019). He lives in Indiana.