Garchaster's Cornblade (2026)

I don’t want to see a movie that looks like a commercial.
—Kasper Meltedhair

What if you could remember every detail of your best trip? Shit, what if you could remember any given Thursday from the wildest part of your late 20s, when you found your people and figured out how to really have fun? Enter Kasper Meltedhair’s Garchaster's Cornblade. Everyone talks like an interstitial track on Trout Mask Replica, there’s a dark carnival going on in someone’s basement, and the kitchen is full of eloquent freaks cooking up delicious nonsense. Something special is going on at Blood Sick Productions, and anyone with a wild hair and a functional relationship with their flashback mechanism is welcome. We caught this world premiere screening along with a slew of twisted trailers at PhilaMOCA, having met Blood Sick’s Brewce Longo behind the bar at Solar Myth. Brewce curates Blood Sick events and also directs heavy metal horror films like Coven of the Black Cube and A Corpse for Christmas, which we picked up on Bluray at the screening. At the Q&A Erica Schreiner, whose  short film Ropes played before the feature, mentioned being in town to film a movie and invited the audience to show up on location Friday to be extras, so that spirit of welcome screams true. Weeks later we found a cassette of the Garchaster's Cornblade soundtrack at Beautiful World Syndicate on Passyunk, possibly dubbed by Meltedhair, who also scored the film, so Philly is still sprouting things from Blood Sick’s weedbomb. We’ll be sure to hit up future screenings, and recommend that CDSOB freaks have a look at bloodsick.org. 37 out of 5 sacs of blood

—J †Johnson